How to Introduce Your New Partner To Your Kids
I looked for a book about dad's new partner, or ANYBODY's new partner, and couldn't find a single one. So, I wrote it.
Tamar Burris is a single mom, parenting and relationship coach.
She helps families co-parent without blame, shame, or games.
Tamar wrote this adorable and heartfelt book for young kids (ages 3-7) whose parents are divorced.
The book is about a young boy who is nervous and angry that his divorced dad has a new lady friend. He meets her and likes her, but then is worried about upsetting his mom.
Tamar talks about why she wrote this book.
I wrote this story for my own son.
He was four-years-old when my ex and I split.
Just as self help books inspire us as adults, books about two homes and divorces really helped him process and communicate his feelings about our separation.
They made him stronger. They made conversations happen - important conversations.
The one thing I didn't really know how to navigate was discussing dad's girlfriend.
My own feelings of rage and hurt were strong. But I knew he had to come first, and that sharing anger or having him pity me would only create problems for him down the road.
I looked for a book about dad's new partner, or ANYBODY's new partner and couldn't find a single one. So, I wrote it.
Writing as a form of healing
And as I wrote, I healed.
Because I was able to put on the page the way I wanted to be with him, the way I wanted him to feel.
Regardless of how I was feeling inside. I wanted him to feel loved, to know that it is ok to accept new adults, that I celebrate him being loved by as many people as possible. Even though I personally wasn't there yet.
It took a while for this little story to come to fruition. I am proud that I was able to set aside my own pain to honor his needs.
And at the same time, I set a clear vision for how I wanted to co-parent, even if I might not have been there yet.
Hopefully, this book will help other kids feel comfortable with family transitions. And will give other parents a little bit of strength if they can't quite manage the words themselves.
Who knew that my first book would be about my most traumatic experience?
Life has a funny way of giving you gifts when you show up to receive them.
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