What I Wish I Knew, a Women’s Financial Guide to Divorce
Divorce is never easy, and separation and divorce are emotionally difficult events. Let’s be honest: no one enters into a marriage expecting it to fail. Still, more than 20 percent of first marriages end in divorce, with 48 percent of marriages dissolving by the 20-year mark.
The end of a marriage unleashes a flood of emotions: anger, grief, anxiety, fear, loss, discomfort, sadness. Sometimes these feelings rise up out of nowhere, catching you off guard. While we focus on the financial well-being of our clients at WFWC, we recognize that emotional well-being is as important to tend to as financial well-being.
When having a successful divorce, yes, it’s important to make sure you are getting your fair and equitable share, but when it comes to YOU and how you handle one of the most stressful life events, it’s less about dollars and cents than emotions and worthiness.
The changes brought on by separation and divorce can be overwhelming but remember that you are worthy of asking for what you need. Now, more than ever, is when you need to take care of yourself and understand the why behind what you’re asking for.
For instance, you shouldn’t feel like you have to settle and live on nothing post-divorce. You can thrive AND live your best life by setting aside money, budgeting, and planning for some financial surprises within the divorce process. If this sounds like a bit much, keep in mind that tightening the reins on your finances is a lot different than loss and sacrifice. Moreover, divorce should not be at the detriment of your overall well-being.
Rather, it’s taking a look at your beliefs and identifying how they are driving your decisions. For example, there have been times when a client came to us who had lived within a higher net worth bracket, but they didn’t understand how to make the numbers work in their favor.
In order to determine what works for you and what will support your life, dreams, and financial situation you have to be able to run the numbers and look at the complete picture. It doesn’t matter how many zeroes are in your bank account if you don’t know what they are.
Statistically, a woman’s standard of living goes down 41% post-divorce. Why, you (and the rest of us) might ask? Well, in my experience, it’s because the right questions aren’t being asked and couples are rushing to just get it over with. Additionally, your spouse—whether intentional or not—knows how to push your buttons to control the situation for their best interests.
Ending a divorce in a way that’s financially beneficial and emotionally favorable requires a balance that’s equal parts gathering the right information and refusing to be bullied into signing an agreement you aren’t 100% happy with.
Remember, conflict is an inherent part of the divorce process. I think a lot of the times, we try so hard to avoid conflict that we lose out on making decisions that are best for our future well-being, both from a financial and emotional standpoint.
For this reason, it’s important to gather an award-winning team around yourself. In a situation that’s as emotionally and financially charged as divorce, you just aren’t going to be your best advocate. Loss, rejection, guilt…you need people who can help navigate you through these emotions, and more. The point of the entire divorce process—as painful as it can be—is to make sure there is an equitable division of assets and that each person’s best interests are being met.
By building a team that has your best interests in mind, you ease any thoughts of doubt you may have throughout the process and empower yourself to step into the next phase of your life with confidence.
Whether it’s your lawyer, your therapist, or a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, your divorce team should help you navigate the rocky terrain ahead and realize how important it is to be there for you—every step of the way.
Ready to take the reins of your financial destiny during divorce?
If you want to step into your next chapter with confidence and control, I have a resource for you—my FREE Divorce Strategy Masterclass, tailor-made for strong women like yourself. Let's empower you for a future that shines.